The road to success can be uncomfortable, like walking a tightrope trying to read a book. It's a delicate balancing act that requires focus and skill, all while you're learning as you go. We strive to make the process seem effortless, and we only see other successful people once they’ve reached their goals. We don’t really know what they looked like while they were trying to get there.
Nobody wants you to know they're struggling. It's embarrassing when you don't have the money you need to do what you want. You can't fully participate because you're in lack. You start doubting yourself and your confidence is shot.
The good news is this pain and embarrassment is the beginning of a mindset change. You will get so laser focused on a change in your situation, that you will reevaluate your processes and ultimately your abilities. Ask yourself; what Can you do to change these circumstances, what are your limitations and why are they your limitations? Remember you're supposed to be leading the life you want to live, and loving yourself for who you are in the process of life. When you look around at your current situation, does it look like you took the lead in your own life or gave that power to someone else? Did you love yourself without conditions or did you only see yourself through someone else's disapproving eyes?
Confidence has always been a struggle for me, and I’m sad to admit that I did not lead my own life for a long time. I trusted the opinions of those I loved the most without taking any responsibility for my own self leadership. As a result, I would achieve all the goals I set out to reach, but they weren’t mine. I was trying to impress others or show my worth and value to them by accomplishing things they would admire. It’s like having a trophy room full of golf wins when all you wanted to do was dance.
So now, when I’m reaching for a goal, I've found it essential to disconnect from others' opinions (whether they support me or not) and tap into my intuition. I have to ask myself why do I really want this goal? What’s in it for me? How does this goal keep me in line with my life purpose? Having conversations with God becomes crucial for maintaining the right mindset because I have no choice but to keep it 100% really real...and identify what I really want.
Then when I know what I want and my reasons why, I do what I can to imagine that this exists already. For me, this visualization is the hardest part. I have lived a life that wasn’t always kind, so visualizing good things happening has been one of my pain points. Still, I try. Experts like Earl Nightingale, Les Brown, and even Jim Rohn have given me strategies to build on. Click the links on their names to listen to what they have to say.
Anyway, this is why the mindset shift is so important. Do you think good things can happen for you? Why not you? If not you, then who? If not now, then when? Each failure and setback serves as valuable practice for eventual success. Each time I learned from my mistakes, even if it took a while, my mindset developed. My confidence grew because no matter if I was dealing with a narcissist or being gaslit, they didn’t control the way I thought about myself or my abilities. I took the lead in my life.
My ultimate goal was to build enough confidence to be successful. Since success first lies in the mind through visualization, I had to believe I could do it just like Mark 11:24. Even if I failed the first time, I had to get up and go again. Then I had to look at where I was in relation to where I wanted to be and believe I would succeed. Lastly and where I am now, is knowing that there is no set path to success, it can come from any direction at any time. All I can do is have enough confidence in myself to recognize it when it appears.
If you agree, I would like you to start building confidence today. Think about any potential barriers to feeling as good as you can about yourself. If you struggle with negative self-talk, memorize an affirmation to turn your self-talk positive. If you're afraid of failure, don't be. You Will fail and get back up from that. If you are comparing yourself to others remember you're leading your Own life, and your journey is different from anyone else's. You and you alone are in charge of your destiny.
While this may seem like a solitary journey, it's important to acknowledge the presence of God. There were times when I felt embarrassed about always learning in the presence of others, realizing there were certain things I was never taught. I felt like I always had just enough to keep me alive, never abundance and never joy. Just in survival mode.
During those tough moments, I felt carried through. Faith and positivity aren't always constants, but my belief in God's presence remains unwavering. So, when I say "alone," I refer to the absence and support of key people in the beginning of my life. However, during that solitary time with God, I walked the tightrope and read the book. I shifted my focus from the challenges I faced to the lessons they offered. It was a deliberate choice.
As you navigate through life, remember that if God chooses to teach you, then choose to learn the lesson. Trust the process. No one else can cheat or provide you with a summary for personal success. It's your unique journey, and no one else can complete it on your behalf. The sooner you surrender to the will of your process, the sooner you'll find the success you seek. The sooner you take the lead in your life, the sooner you will live a life you love. Have confidence in yourself. I believe in you.
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Thank you so much for your time and attention.
-N.
What is the biggest obstacle to building confidence?
Negative self-talk & low self esteem
Fear of failure based on the past
Unrealistic expectations
Comparison to others